Under The Influence

My Dear Princess & Dear Fellows,

"Did you cry?" I asked Lemon when she sat down today.

"OH MY GOD!" she replied. "You've seen it?!??"

I told her that I had indeed seen Endgame and she seemed relieved. She blurted out all her spoilery favourite bits and then we resolved to shut up for the rest of the day, just in case we were overheard by someone who didn't know that Thanos SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER with a melon.

Instead we talked about my wife who is trying to be a "Social Influencer" through her Instagram account. She and some colleagues have set up an account to entice doctors to move to New Zealand. 

I've seen Caro's pictures. They are really very impressive. She has a much better eye for pictures than me, and a gift for a tagline. One picture which includes rolling vistas of NZ beauty has the line, "Doctors: We Prescribe New Zealand" on it. 

I thought that was very clever and professional looking.

Unfortunately, the two women sharing her account don't seem to look at Caro's pictures and think, "Hmmmm... we should be doing that." For ANZAC Day, Caro posted a sombre picture of crosses and poppies. Her colleagues posted a picture of a plate of biscuits.

"For F***'S sake!" said Caro. And wondered how she could go about booting them off the account.

Lemon told me that her daughter had an Instagram which was hugely popular. "All her pictures and GIFs featured her brothers fighting," she explained. "She would take pictures of one of them in the act of hitting the other one with a stick and then add #thisisnotright and #imustbeadopted."

Lemon only found out about this when family members started congratulating her on how funny her daughter was. Lemon was horrified to find that her daughter had graduated to Vine and was posting short videos of the two brothers calling each other bad words. They too, were wise by this stage which led to the daughter posting a phase of "Stop filming us!!" films. 

"She even edited it to a rap beat," Lemon told me, "so it went like - 'Mum! She's filming us again! Mum! Mum! Mu-mu-mu-mu-MUM!"

In the end, the career as social influencer was cut short on account of the brothers refused to comply. "They would argue in whispers, sitting on my lap," Lemon told me. "It just didn't work as entertainment."

I think I'll stick with Blip. And I'm happy to have just a small audience. I would hate to think of the influence I might be having on you all.

S.

p.s. I have no idea what these flowers are. They don't look real. But they are growing in the grounds at the Thai embassy, if that helps.