Renewal of Vows

Background - 30 years ago we fostered a pre adoption baby for 8 weeks before handing her over to her forever mummy and daddy. 8 years ago We received a thank you card from said baby, for looking after her and loving her.

Her story - Having fallen pregnant, V’s boyfriend proposed and as they prepared for a rush wedding she asked her parents for her birth certificate. They said it was lost, so she applied for a copy. What came back was an adoption certificate, and this was how she learnt she was adopted! she was stunned, and unsure of what to feel. The wedding went ahead, the baby born and V decided to look for her birth parents. This decision caused her adoptive family to reject her, and when she found the birth family, it did not go well. Now feeling quite lost she found the letter I had written at the time of the adoption in her file, and embraced the fact that someone knew her as a baby and had cared deeply for her.

We exchanged emails, friended on social media and I sent her photos and papers from her time with us. We have never met however.

Four years ago, she had her second son, and then two years ago lost her best friend at the age of 27. Last year their eldest son was gravely I’ll, and almost didn’t make it. The last couple of years have been a roller coaster for her, and as she began to recover, she and her husband decided to renew their vows on their wedding anniversary and have a do that was better than the first one, that had seemed tainted. I was amazed to receive an invitation, as we still had not met.

Mr L and I debated at length whether or not to go to a ceremony where we knew no one, not even the happy couple but We decided it must be important to her, and we could do this!

They have a large field attached to their house, and had put in a huge marquee, country style, with hay bales as seats, and decorated with lots of oddities! (Hay bales are very itchy to sit on I learned)! Clearly a popular couple with many friends, the marquee whistled and clanked in the wind and driving rain! We all froze as we waited for V to appear. It would appear that being fashionably late has changed a bit! One and a quarter hours later the ceremony began. It was beautifully odd, with a sand unity bit and butterflies being released! We had told V in our reply that we would attend the ceremony but not stay to the evening do. So, we made our way out, and I cannot put into words how emotional the next few minutes were. V was in tears, we hugged and held hands, she cried some more. We had photos taken (I couldn’t refuse, despite my dislike of my own photo being taken) hugged and cried some more, and then left. Her husband couldn’t stop thanking us for going. It clearly was a big deal for V, and I am so glad we went.

We should always be mindful of the affect we can have on others lives, no matter how small a thing it is for us.