The noblest of them all

Yes it's that time again when the proudest and most popular of all vegetables emerges into the daylight, to charm and seduce us all.

If Only...
A poem written by a clinically depressed sprout.

If only I had been a bean,
A carrot or an aubergine,
A shiny pea,
That should've been me,
Alas, twas not to be

If only I had been less tight, Less like a fist clenched for a fight,
An open heart
Should've been my part,
Alas, twas not to be.

If only I had been less smelly, Less pungent on exit from your belly,
A scented rose,
Kind to the nose,
Alas, twas not to be.

If only I had been enticing, Excited kids, chopping and slicing,
A birthday treat,
Which couldn't be beat,
Alas, twas not to be.

If only I had tasted great, Not been the cause of so much hate,
A gourmet delight,
A flavoursome bite,
Alas, twas not to be.

And so my friends, the end is nigh, I'm ending it all concealed in a pie,
You'll think you're clear,
From a windy rear,
Alas, twas not to be!

The more you love, the more they give, You are the reason why they live xxxx

Anon.