DEStination

Destination Dar Es Salaam in Tanzania. A city I’ve never been to before, but I’ve been invited to participate in some planning meetings for a conservation landscape that is shared between Mozambique and Tanzania. I’ve been to Tanzania once, in 2006, for a field course whilst I was doing my masters project research in Kenya. That trip was to the northern wildlife parks circuit, including the famous Serengeti and Ngorongoro Crater. The wildlife was wonderfully memorable and the country holds much allure and importance for a conservationist. For example, Tanzania hosts more of Africa’s remaining lions than any other country, and the same can likely be said for other iconic species.

Exiting Maputo, the immigration officials were trialling a new computer system and I had to repeat my thumbprints about four times before the official worked out how to save the image. It made her even more lethargic than usual. It didn’t help that she was more interested in dealing out a packet of biscuits than providing a seamless customer service experience. I received a death stare when I asked whether they were delicious. One of the South African Airways cabin crew was called Hughlene and I wondered whether -lene could feminise many men’s names. Robertlene. Johnlene. Leonardlene.

Like its northern neighbour Kenya, those of us attending for meetings this week have been warned that Tanzania introduces a total plastic bag ban on 01 June. Fines and 7-day jail sentences are threatened, which seems excessive for forgetting you’ve chucked your walking boots in an Aldi carrier.

Visa nervousness has characterised the trip. Rumour has it that the Tanzanian authorities perform checks on hotels noted by foreign visitors on their arrival forms, turning up at places they know are hosting meetings, to look for opportunities to fine those who have entered on tourist visas. Having been nowhere near Maputo to acquire one in advance from the Tanzanian authorities there, I wanted to get a business visa on arrival with an invitation letter and exit plane ticket. This is possible and I had the correct documents. Despite my insisting I needed a business visa, they refused and issued me a cheaper tourist visa, which states ‘employment prohibited.’ Then the passport disappeared for a time suspiciously equivalent to how long it would take to copy down all the hotel details. As I have already been warned about these scams I wouldn’t be surprised to receive a visit later in the week and to be accused of having the wrong visa. At which point I will try very hard not to lose my sh*t. This is an unavoidable scam if it works.

I haven’t been in this situation often, whereby external partners will invite and pay for contributions to meetings. It implies I’ve reached a certain career milestone where my inputs are valuable, which is a boost to the confidence and a smack in the face to the creep of impostor syndrome. The invitation has meant transport on arrival was arranged, so I escaped the usual haggling with taxi drivers. I’m especially grateful for this in a new city so thanks go to partners at WWF and their well-funded panda brand.

Zebra skins in transit in Johannesburg. Highly unlikely to be fake. Similar to the debate over sport hunting, game farming in Southern Africa is huge business. It’s not to my tastes to have a splayed zebra skin covering my lounge floor, but I can stomach the sight of it if it’s focusing on non-endangered species and raising funds and having a net benefit for the protection of landscapes.

I’ve imported a lot of tiny industrious ants that have colonised the insides of my keyboard. I may have to bake the laptop in the sun for a while because I’m concerned about them walking off carrying an important widget or piece of wiring that they’ve gnawed off.