On your bike

This conservative leadership contest is great isn’t it?

What clueless nonsense will one of them come out with next?

I’ve enjoyed Raab claiming (lying is an ugly word, so even though everyone knows it is a MASSIVE lie, let’s not use it) that he had a solution to the Irish Backstop problem, but stupid David Liddington stopped it. This is right up with the time me and Kim Wilde almost went away for a weekend of naughty fun, but my stupid alarm clock put an end to it.

I’ve also enjoyed Rory Stewart - winner of the uncontested prize for least obviously crazy person in the race who - despite looking like the less intimidating younger brother of the child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - has been hanging around in quiet spots waiting to talk to unsuspecting members of the public. This is the same man who was caught out quoting an entirely made up statistic in a radio interview that ‘represented what he believed to be the case’, even though there is ample evidence that it was completely untrue.

At times like this I always think ‘WWHTDA’ - or what would happen to Diane Abbot, if she did that? I’m pretty sure that it would still be brought up in conversation in whatever distant solar system the remnants of the human race have escaped to just before the sun expands to engulf the Earth in a fireball, but for him it is almost completely forgotten.

But you can think again if you believe sexism and racism are a factor in that at all.