Recipe

I hate Tesco. Mind you I equally hate Asda, Sainsbury's and Waitrose. In fact I dislike all the super stores that make me feel like I should buy the things they stack in front of me with labels that say 'Best Buy' and 'New and Improved' when all I wanted was the old ordinary thing I bought last time.

I dislike that feeling that my basket is half full of brightly coloured, beautifully decorated packets that I don't need when all I came in for was broccoli and pasta.

I feel slightly panicky when I find myself in the middle of the shop trying to think if there is anything else I need whilst sidestepping trolleys so loaded with food I'm surprised the wheels don't fall off pushed by women whose arses are wider than the trolley.

I feel resentment when I find that instead of wash-up liquid in the third row I am faced with all the Christmas overstock they are trying to flog cheap.

I always feel I need to trail up and down the tills twice to find the one with the shortest queue, and I still end up behind someone who answers their phone when they should be putting in their PIN or insists on using vouchers with chewed up bar codes that have to be checked with a supervisor before they can be accepted.

I flee with my bag over my shoulder thinking that I am certain that there is something else I should have bought but I just don't care enough to even stop and think what it might be.

You know I might write a self help book entitled 'Super stores without tears'. To help those who find the places as intimidating as I do. But first I'll have to help myself.