You Don't Impress Me Much

Miserable weather so time for a grumpy indoor blip.

It seemed to me that just lately I couldn't pick up a paper without this bloke intruding on my reading. He was so ubiquitous he was even in my copy of TV Quick and Puzzler's Weekly, getting everywhere like a smell. He seems to think he is some kind of number 5, but he doesn't look like a centre half to me, even if he is considered to be fit. I reckon he would dwell on the ball and admire his own passes. I think he is a bit sinister and a waste of trees. I even thought he was following me the other day in Brixham but it was only one of the friendly local pirates.