All for the want of . . .

Setting off for work this morning shortly after 7am with my interior door suitably locked, I was cheered to find ladders, buckets, full-body overalls and what-have-you waiting just inside the street door. Hmm, perhaps the goblins might be fit for purpose. But no actual goblins to introduce myself to.

At 9:30 I received a call from Zara to let me know that because there are no power outlets in my hallway the goblins have been unable to start work. Hmm.

Thankfully she put The King of the Goblins on the line and he turned out to be reassuringly sensible. I explained that my insurance company had insisted upon the lock on the interior door if I were going to be providing keys to total strangers whose identity I did not know. Yes that was a fib, I don't have an insurance company, but it was perfectly plausible and the Goblin King accepted it as truth. He assured me that his was a very professional company with 30 years in the business but neglected to inform me of its name.

I explained that every two-to-three weeks the cleaners come in to vacuum the communal staircase and they plug their vacuum cleaner into a socket in the stairwell. Could he not do the same thing?
No, he could not do that, perfectly reasonably. When the cleaners are cleaning they are on the stairs, not hidden away in the loft and so they can see if someone else is using the stairs and warn them about trailing cables.

OK then, shall I jump on my bike and whizz round? I can be there in twenty minutes? Well no, they had already lost two hours, presumably because Zara does not arrive at work until 9:30 and there is no 24-hour maintenance hotline. With two hours lost they would not be able to complete the task today and are fully booked all week. They could however come round on Saturday and fit the whole job in then if that suited me. Well yes actually, it does. I'm going to be out all day on Saturday.

Later in the day proactive Goblin King called me again to suggest that he pop round to meet me one evening after work so that I am less anxious about strangers in my flat. That sounded like a jolly good idea to which I have agreed.

And then, when I got home from work today I popped round to Wickes to purchase this little jobby which is plugged in inside my flat but which can operate in the hallway even with the interior door locked. I hope he is happy with my solution.