taking stock

OR

because I can

taking stock of my life as I watch other people do the same in a beginning of the year frenzy of self-improvement. And thinking how lucky I am, how luxurious it is to be able to take stock...that implies choice, time, space...and how lucky I am and how luxurious it is to just walk in a different direction when the path ahead of you is no longer safe or desirable. Can't eat apples? Buy cranberries instead, because I can. That's luxury.

My goals of this year aren't really goals at all. My goal is to give up goals and go for something far more wooly and suited to my wandery nature. I don't want to get anywhere I just want to take what comes and make the best of it.

At the end of last year Mr Spitzi and I listed up some of the disastrous things that had happened in the last ten years. It was a long list. A scary list. In some of those moments we felt so alone and helpless that we didn't know how to carry on. And, yet, here we are with choices, friends, laughter, luxury. I have always believed that one reaps what one sows but in the last year I have had a bumper harvest and I am so grateful and happy to have friends near and far who I can share ups and downs with and watch life unfolding with a smile on my face.

Years ago, when I didn't know what luxury meant, I wanted things - lists of things. Goals, achievements, milestones, material things. I worked and worked and improved myself until I nearly lost sight of who I am. Thank you to those of you who gave me the wake up call - probably without knowing it - and helped me to remember how simple happiness really is. This one's for you x