”You left me on my own all day...

... while that horrible noisy pneumatic drill was going on next door in shouty neighbour’s house.”

Me: “I am very sorry. I got a shock myself when I went out to the car to drive to my meeting. I have never heard a pneumatic drill hard at it in someone’s bungalow before. In fact a couple of neighbour’s came out and looked at shouty neighbour’s bungalow.”

Popeye: “It was horrendously noisy. It went on all morning, and I hid in your bedcovers.”

Me: “Poor Popeye.”

Popeye; “I think I know what all that work is that's going on inside the property next door...”

Me: “Don’t keep me in suspense...”

Popeye: “Shouty neighbour is having a nuclear fall out shelter built...why else would they be digging through the concrete floors inside the bungalow?”

Me: “There is something weird going on there. You know, on the way to my meeting, all my brain could think was that Jack of all Trades (NOT) window replacement man who then was responsible for the botched roofing job that went on for weeks and weeks, and then the last two weeks has gone on to do renovations inside shouty neighbour’s bungalow, has murdered shouty neighbour and his wife because he has found shouty neighbour’s secret stash of cash, and is digging up the concrete floor to bury them, and is going to concrete it all over.”

Popeye: “You have a vivid imagination Mum. You should write short stories and novels. How about entering NaNoWriMo in November?”

Me: “I couldn’t shake away that thought in my head. The pneumatic drill banging away this morning inside his property was very strange. I didn’t want to come home. But I bought you a present...a grumpy cat toy. Do you like it?”

Popeye: “So you are implying I am a grumpy cat?”
Only teasing you Mum! I do like it. Will you rub some more catnip in it for me?”

Me rubbing catnip into the toy...

Popeye: “Just had a better idea what is happening next door. Shouty neighbour is having a secret strongroom built under his floors so he can stockpile up on food and stockpile up on lots of other stuff, ready for the crisis at the end of this month, and no one will find it.”

Me: “I think you have cracked it Popeye. That’s the answer! I did see a newspaper headline this morning which said a well known bakery had baked and baked and stocked up on an enormous quantity of sausage rolls ready for Brexit at the end of this month. Here’s your toy with the catnip rubbed in.”

Popeye: “And where did you put your secret stash that you came home with today? All that ice, and that green bottle and tonic water...”

Me: “That’s for my grab bag. You don’t need a grab bag, you can catch mice...”