Current.

Its been a while since i've even really looked at my scars, but I did tonight, and they're so awful and I don't exactly know what to do anymore about them, i'm starting the fasting tomorrow, joy on earth, except not at all. Smoking my hunger away I reckon.

But yes this is my hideous body. ha. I hate myself, i've gotten so fat and disgusting, if I haven't lost alot of weight by february I might just hop in a river or something.

~

You've gotta believe me that i'll never forget you,
but every day the ghosts will come, and in every way,
I know i'm gone.
So keep me awake, to keep me alive, and take me out
into the night, I was on the verge to scream
but I couldn't scream, about,
anything.