Fall Day

I had another go at a capture this morning. Blue sky makes for a prettier background....

I had a good day today. We're doing a project about using Teddy Bears as Emotional support in the classroom. Today the children got to choose a bear that feels special to them (the ones we bought are identical!) and give him/her a name. We sat in a circle and told everybody what it's name was, and had some time getting to know them. Then we made labels for them which pretty quickly turned into Bear Bedlam! Trying to explain to them what to do was fine, but those groups who weren't yet doing it were hovering close by, keen to get in on the action! 

In the evening I went to college. This is week four and I'm loving it. I love the tutor- she is really passionate about counselling and it really shows. She gives us lots of practical examples too which makes it more real. Unfortunately the session left me a bit sad, which was a shame as I arrived in a great mood! We had to do a timeline of our lives as part of our self-awareness. I didn't love it when we did it last year, but just accepted that we had to do it. But left to my own devices for fifteen minutes, I found that despite drawing the long line from left to right on the paper, I could not put anything down beyond that. I can't explain why, other than when I thought about it, the majority of life events seemed negative. I did keep trying to go back to it, but in the end I doodled from right to left until I had filled my paper, whilst thinking about why it was so difficult. 

As soon as the tutor asked us to come back together, K, the lady next to me, patted my hand and told me I wasn't alone, and that she had struggled last year to do one. I instantly felt relieved, and her compassion was just lovely. Our next job was to share our timeline with somebody in the group that we didn't know, so K and I worked together. I didn't expect the tutor to come over and kindly tell me she noticed that I didn't do it. There was no judgement, she was just checking I was ok etc, and I told her I didn't know why I found it so hard. 

While K was sharing hers with me, I found myself getting a little teary, and really had to distract myself to make sure I didn't cry! When I did talk about a good thing, my book, she was really encouraging and I felt a bit better. 

After the break, we started our triads which we haven't done since June. I decided to go second to get it over with (I usually go last), but to my horror, our tutor who had been observing another group, moved her chair next to me....

I had a brief moment of "fight or flight" where I actually contemplated running, but realised I had no choice but to gather my courage and go for it. We get observed teaching a few times a year, and while I hate it, you have to suck it up and get on with it! She kindly sat out of my eye line, and I tried hard to focus on what I needed to say. 

It went well, and to my surprise she gave me excellent feedback and said she struggled to find something constructive to say. She used the words "you nailed it!" which left me feeling SO much better! 

It was so nice to end the session on a high, even though I didn't do so well on my homework and need to write a bit more then resubmit it. I was buzzing once I got home, and didn't sleep so well as I kept thinking about it, which often happens on a college night. 

I don't want to wish this year (at college) away, I'm loving it.