October 26th 1939

Saturday Oct 26th

I have had the by no means unique experience of being ordered to get out by my amiable father.

It has happened now about three or four times, coupled with the assurance that he has not the least interest in me, and accompanied this time with the threat that if I continued to be “rude” i.e. to express my ideas freely, a court order could be obtained to eject me.

The state of being “rude” on my part consists of my replying with any degree of indignance or resentment to orders given in a tone which would disgrace a drover shouting at his moke*. Since I am dependant for my bread and butter - and never allowed to forget it - I have no right to be spoken to like a human being. Nor, since my behaviour is worthy only to be ignored, have I any right to raise my voice or venture my opinion, even when I happen to be witness of insults and slights heaped upon my beloved mother. That is stating my case very violently and in the hot blood roused by new cruelties and old bitter prejudices. Now I am going to state my case in stone-cold sobriety.

I am a woman of twenty six and a Bachelor of Arts. That hard-won title, outside of the house circle, gives me the right to be considered of something a little above the average intelligence. I can deny outright any charges that anyone may care to bring of having caused my parents one moment’s anxiety in keeping bad or extravagant company, being disobedient to their wishes, or underhand or untruthful. The only demands I make upon either of my parents are that I shall be accorded a common and loving courtesy, shall be treated in accordance with my age and the standing which I have a right to consider mine, and that I shall be allowed my own opinions which I am now well qualified to form.

My darling mother has never for one moment found it necessary to use “force” upon me because she has always listened sympathetically to what I have had to say. I imagine she usually finds that my ideas are common sense, and that when they are not, I am open to reason. 

This is my standing ground. Reason and reasonableness are my law - so long as I am expected to acquiesce in anything that I believe to be unjust or wrong without registering a protest, however vain, a course that anyone with any integrity of spirit would revolt from, and so long as I and my sweet mother are addressed like some kind of helot**. So long shall I reserve the right to reply as I think fit, whether my conduct is considered insubordinate and unfilial or not.

But should a new and more loving way be adopted, I should be only too glad and happy to end this hateful state of affairs. When I am treated like a daughter, I shall behave like one.

*donkey
**member of a class of serfs in ancient Sparta