Grasses.

Mum and I were walking through George in Asda today, happily minding our own business, when a slightly cross-eyed girl in a large bobble hat came up to us, held up a packet of Durex and asked if we knew "how big these ones are?" I smiled and said most politely "I'm sorry, I don't know, but theres a desk at the front of the store where you could ask". She kept talking though, "they're for my brother, he has a really big penis, he needs 2.4 ones". I'm now wondering if we are on some sort of 'you've been framed' type show or she's been dared to go up to a random person and say this (and what 2.4 stands for) but it has to be said, she didn't look like she was quite all there. Still, again very politely, "Oh. Well I'm sure the front desk can help you" pointing in that direction encouragingly. We're now walking away (quite fast) and shes calling after us "Isn't that really big though? I was amazed how big it is!". We walk quicker. Then realise that she's following us and start a kind of 'lose your tail' twisty turny route around Asda swinging around aisles until we're sure we've lost her and can finally stop and look at each other in jaw dropped amazement.
Defintely the most bizzare thing thats happened to me recently.
You forget what Inverness is like when you've been away for awhile...