At 11.22 this morning I crossed over to the Other Side.

It was beautiful.

It's 4-hour lunches with too much wine; Haagen-Dazs macademia nut ice-cream is prevalent; there is no politics, not as we know it anyway (12 really nice people sit in a room somewhere and make decisions to help everyone - apparently it's not very difficult if you actually try); Julie Christie (c. 1975) works behind the bar; there's no social media and Blipfoto is an actual gallery (about the size of Lanarkshire) where you can phone other blippers up and say "that's a really nice photo, come and have a 4-hour lunch with too much wine; footballers don't spit or simulate and are paid less than nurses; there's no Simon Cowell; and there's a room into which wankers from This Side are transported on a daily basis (today was Arron Banks) and you can go in and kick them in the nuts for free.

Julie and I are already woo-ing. We're now lying in a meadow looking up the blue sky and talking about county cricket in the early '80s.

You should come see us sometime.