Again?!

I took Nellie of the Woods to the deli today! We took Oscar for a walk across the field and down the lanes behind the deli first then it was a good old mooch round the deli before sitting outside with our cake and drinks and Oscar! Unbelievably mild! We sat for 2 hours chatting!
I think I am still going through a retirement existential angst. I feel guilty about it as I am certain there are many who would love to be free of work at my age! I haven't established a rhythm or substance to my new life and have an overwhelming feeling I am often wasting my days doing nothing. I literally mean days of doing nothing apart from a walk with Oscar and feeding myself. I don't even have the energy or inclination to read, knit, tidy...basically do something constructive. I tried to explain to Nellie who told me I deserved to enjoy doing nothing, that it's not resting or recuperative, it's not stillness, it does not nurture me - I just feel slothful and static in my inactivity. Hopefully the fact I am feeling this way about it means I am coming out of the last 2 years and  want more in my life. The fact I have plans for renovating various areas in my house  is a sign I'm becoming more active. I tell myself not to feel giuilty as my health ( mental and physical) issues have rather limited what I have been able to do. I'm in a much better place now so hopefully I'm begining to move on and out - the thought that perhaps I am is rather exciting and certainly reassuring!