Ugh

To be honest, I'm not use to days upon days of stormy weather and general ugh-i-ness.  It's almost always sunny here: on average, there are 286 sunny days per year in Tucson. 
The only good thing is that I haven't had to fill the birds' water dishes for two weeks. 

I went to dinner  at a busy restaurant for Thanksgiving with about a dozen other people, most of whom were more acquaintances than friends.  Let's just say I was pretty irritable and behaved in a way that so upset me when I got home all I could do was cry. My brain got overloaded. Not only was it the first holiday without my mom but my bipolar disorder has been freaking out of control.  

People think of mania as a "high," with symptoms like heightened creativity and mood.  There's also the reckless behavior, rapid speech, racing thoughts, insomnia.   For me, there's a point at which my mania turns into irritability to such a degree that it is best for me to not be around people.  It's so very difficult to explain, especially to people who don't want to even try to understand. Those are the people who tell you to 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' or 'snap out of it'.  Wish it was that easy.

NAMI   has a pretty good explanation of mania (about the middle of the page) for those who suffer from Bipolar I Disorder, like me. I've been struggling with this shit for almost 40 years.  It's wearing me out.