Day 14: What Blip is teaching me....

After having my daughter in 2008 I was diagnosed with Post Natal Depression (PND) and life got pretty bad for quite a while. This came as a huge shock to me and to my loved ones. I was no longer the bright cheerful, happy person I used to be. I had a beautiful, healthy daughter, a loving husband, amazing family (especially my parents and mum-in-law), great job, wonderful home yet I was in this daze, a big dark cloud hanging over my head. I couldn't go out alone and yet couldn't be left alone at home. I wanted to lock myself away and never be found. It was a dreadful, scary time. A real roller coaster for almost 3 years, that I wouldn't wish on my worse enemy. Part of my recovery was spent having some counselling sessions. In my very first one a lovely lady asked if I knew anything about Buddhism, to which I replied 'no'. She gave me a book by Sarah Napthali and told me to keep an open mind. I came home, intrigued, locked myself in a room and began to read. I totally 'got' it and made a conscious effort to become mindful. Forgetting the chaos, the lists, the worries and concentrating on the here and now. REALLY seeing things rather than missing the detail, the beauty, the colours of everyday life. I remember watching 'Finding Nemo' with my girl on my lap and really taking in the amazing colours!!! It was like looking at life through a child's eyes without all the baggage that fills ours adult minds.

I'm pleased to say that I am now fully recovered from PND. Like most things, if you don't practise it often enough you forget to do it, mindfulness is no exception. Driving home today I was looking at the beautiful midnight blue sky, the sillhouete of the chimneys in a local terraced street, the black of the rooftops against the beautiful skyline, the small crescent of the moon. By the time I got home the sky had darkened and I couldn't use it as my blip BUT I realised that this 365 project is making me become more mindful again. Looking out for the detail, the beauty, the colours. My blips of late haven't been very creative but I'm learning to become more mindful and for that I'm grateful.


Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.