Strong Vine

I woke up this morning at about 5:45 thinking about what I feel asleep thinking about only 4 hours before. I can't say that 4 hours of sleep is unusual for me, but I can say that it is less than ideal. Particularly when you are already a bit emotionally strung out.

Alas, I woke up and went about my morning routine which involves sunflower whole grain bread, and a soft boiled egg. Except for the soft boiled egg part. I knew I was wound a bit tight when I almost started crying that I was out of eggs. As they say here in Germany... Na, ja.

I had a two hour phone conference regarding the aforementioned work situation. I am not sure that anything was settled, but perhaps a common ground was found on one topic.

Then. I packed. And packed. And packed. Sarah and I would conquer one thing and then move on to the next - taking small pauses in between to regain motivation. It was actually a really lovely day together, in what has become a bit of a relationship that is so dimensionally connected that we resemble sisters more than friends; Continually interacting with snippiness and then simply agreeing to disagree. But today it was a sweet rhythm of two dear friends and colleagues packing a place that has been their home and way of life for two years.

With the departure of AJ things were still and quiet at the flat. I had the key whenever I wanted it. The doorbell never rang with anyone needing to be let in because they had given their key to someone else. Our home, which for the most part, has housed in the range of 5 people for the last two months... was suddenly just three. And tonight, when Sarah left, it became just two, for good (or until Saturday when I move.)

The series of inconsequential moments and rituals were pregnant with meaning, and at the end of the day a few boxes has been packed but they were boxes that hold the two most difficult years of my life, on the heals of two of the most difficult months of my time here. It all feels weighty and heavy. Sarah said tonight we shouldn't give these current trials more attention than they deserve. In my heart I toasted her with agreement and cooked a delightful last meal.

As I walked to my favorite WiFi capable cafe, I passed this quaint cafe on my street whose lights I have been wanting to take pictures of forever. The shot that I wanted was boring and bright and there was nothing right with it. I walked further down the sidewalk, a bit dejected, and looked back and saw this photo. The fiery lights through the tangled vine.

As I turn my focus toward the light in life right now, toward thankfulness, toward what is good, I feel like I am fighting through this strong vine to get it. But I can see it, I know it's there and I know that the fiery light is better than this viney darkness.

I felt like the shot was symbolic and inspirational.

It may be a bit chaotic to you but it is full of hope to me and I love that it's a bit messy.

That's life,
and life,
though difficult,
is nothing,
if not beautiful.

Good night dear Blip community, thank you for your kindness and support. You are a BRIGHT FIERY LIGHT in my day.