Bottoms Up . . .

No more jogging, boot-camping, sweltering-in-saunas, sweating-in-gyms. An end to calorie-counting. No more aversion to mirrors. Throw away the tape measure. Toss the trainers. Eat as much chocolate and as many Big Macs as you desire. Wear your daughter's jeans . . .

How? Easy-peasy. Just drag your tired, floppy, flabby, saggy, wrinkled arse down to our shop in Georgetown mall and walk out with a brand-new Petite Bottom. But hurry, they won't last for long . . . when they're gone they're gone!