Trapped on a bus

Today I took the megabus from London to Inverness for the first time.

I arrived early in London so that I could buy some papers and food before the epic voyage. As I sat in the waiting bay I decided I needed to pee at the same time it dawned on me that the bus might not have any toilets and that I couldn't scrape 30p together to use the public toilets.

Fortunately, there was toilet on board. Unfortunately someone went straight for it. Even more unfortunately ,they seemed to take their time. Too much time. I sat there, pretending to read, cross-legged, thinking surely not... on a bus? No, come on.... Five minutes later an eager slamming of the toilet door informed us all, by way of undesirable waft that, yes, indeed... on a bus. I had to give it another 10 minutes, not because I was embarrassed but because I knew they'd know I knew, and that they'd be embarrassed. I'm considerate like that.

Soon the journey starts to drag on. It gets dark. and the bus empties. From Aviemore to Inverness I was the only one left on the bus. It was like a private taxi. A huge private taxi.