No More Humans

My Dear Fellows and Dear Princess,

I made a phone call to my dad this morning to see how he was getting on. Theoretically it was to my whole family, but we had crossed wires as usual because we are useless so the rest of them were not there.

Dad is not great at present. He had a fall just before Xmas and ended up damaging his kidneys. He said it was like a boxer being punched directly on the kidney. But his injury was then exacerbated by:

a) Being left waiting for three effing hours in A&E, unable to pee the whole time and
b) Having no hospital bed for half of his stay. He was on a gurney in the corridor for 2 fecking days.

(Incidentally; my dad is a dedicated Tory voter and has been all his life. If there were any justice in this effing world, it would be fecking Boris Johnson being forced to wear a catheter for two weeks, and not my father).

Political ranting aside, now dad is home and he seems in much better spirits. I was worried at first because he sounded a bit out of it. Then I realised:

"Are you PISSED?" I asked him.
"Well, I have had a few vodkas. And I'm drinking one now," he admitted.

Daft auld beggar.

Anyway, even though I am glad he is home, it doesn't sound like he will be travelling anytime soon. Now my family's plans to visit NZ have gone back to 2022, it seems. I'll probably make it over there to see them before that.

Right after I'd finished the chat, Feefs came to take me to the airport. Caro will be spending a few more days in the Bay of Plenty, but she had booked me out of there today. I think she knows this is my sociable limit. 

That's not QUITE true. I can stand the company of people I'm comfortable around for quite some time. But family don't always fit into that category. I feel very out of place in Tauranga. The blokes are all about sport and beer. The woman all about shoes and make-up. I find myself faking my personality the whole time I am there. It is an effort.

So I got to the airport where I met these fish. I stared at them; and they stared back. It was strange, they seemed to find me as fascinating as I them. Or they thought I had fish-flakes on my person.

Then it was just the flight and another faked conversation with the taxi driver back to Aurora Terrace. We feigned interest in each other's holiday plans. If I sound a bit tired of it all, it is only because I am. 

When I got home the boys were VERY excited. Especially Punky. We have had a cat lady called Sarah stop by for the last three days to refill their food bowls and spend time with them. Jasper LOVES Sarah and always rolls around, showing her his belly, but Punky is a timid wee fellow who hides from her on each visit. 

So I am the first person he has seen in three days! He trotted around, going "meep" and "brrrrrp" because that is what Punky does. He has been very demanding. So has Jasper, but he is much LOUDER about it. 

It is nice to be home. And I finally feel relaxed again. For the next two days there will be no more humans in my life. And although I sound like a fecking weirdo saying it, I am heartily glad of it. I am not a normal person. I'm a fish-staring, cat-loving, bird-feeding, lizard-gardening solitary fellow.

I am in my own personal tank. Peering at the outside world, and hoping for fish-flakes.

S.