The Greatest Thing

It’s been sometime since my last confession, but as it is exactly a year to the date when the arse officially fell out of my world and I'm now sat on my own backside, watching The Wire with a nice red, it felt like the time was right to make another one.
 
Quick recap for the uninitiated: Valentine’s Day 2019, my marriage was officially over. I say officially because whilst it was obviously in trouble a good time before that, on 14 Feb 2019 it was absolutely done and dusted. Hit the road, Jack.
 
Twelve months on and it’s fair to say that a fair bit has happened. There’s been plenty of tears, souI-searching, self-analysis, self-loathing and all that good stuff, but in the immortal words of Elton John: I’m still standing.
 
A little battered, frayed around the edges and perhaps a little more cynical than before, but crucially I feel like I’ve retained my sense of humour – even I can see the funny side of getting canned on Valentine’s Day – and you know what? Life is good. Life is really good.
 
I have a beautiful home of my own, work is going well, I’m looking after myself better, I’ve been to places I’ve never been before, done things I would never have done before (in a nice way) and met new people whilst spending more time in the company of those already in my life.
 
Colleagues, friends (old and new) and family have all been there with a kind word, a hug or just general encouragement and piss-taking. For that I will be forever grateful.
 
I thought I was broken and unfit for human consumption, but the more people I speak to, the more I realise that most of us are broken in some way, shape or form and that’s OK. It is perfectly normal. Bad or unpleasant things are going to affect you throughout your life, it is practically guaranteed, but how you choose to react to these events without losing sight of all the good stuff that affects you too is where the true challenge lies.
 
Do you choose to let those things define you and use them as an excuse to shy away from the world? Or do you face them down, learn from them and move on?
 
I opted for the latter. Those who have been through something similar and worked through what is essentially the grieving process, know that this isn’t easy, but then again nothing worth having was ever easily obtained.
 
However, looking back on where I was six months ago, I can look myself in the eye today and say that I have faced up, learned and moved on. The most important thing is becoming the father my children deserve and whilst it’s still a work in progress – I’m not saying for a second that I’m SuperDadMan and get it right every time, not by a long chalk – but I am a better parent now than I have ever been before.
 
Seeing that reflected in the three brilliant humans I am co-raising (it’s probably only fair to give their mums a little credit too) who are so affectionate, kind and caring whenever we’re together, gives me the fuel I need to get on with the rest of my life.
 
 “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return”