Cemetery Regulations

Day off the house refurb - let it dry out before a big push Friday and the weekend. Out with the dog for a walk in the sleet. 

How can a wee cemetery need so many regulations? I donned my reading glasses and had a look.

104: Only dead people may be interred and only with appropriate consents, permissions and verifications.

110b: Stay dead (no Zombies).

124: Ghosties and Ghoulies and general spiritual apparitions restricted to hours of darkness only.

165: No ball games (especially with Zombies - see 110b)

201: No digging.

209: No dogs 

210: No dogs who like to dig.

211: No B-B-Qs

300: Daisies may only be pushed up.

Murdo and I agreed this was far too restrictive. Mrs FP suggested that following my demise I'd be put out with the bin but was unsure if I'd be in the compostable brown bin or green general landfill. Given that we currently have six bins (black, grey, burgundy, green, brown and blue) it is only a matter of time before Falkirk District Council give us another for the recently deceased.