fare thee well obieland

Seven months ago, I arrived in Oberlin, Ohio, with no one by my side and nothing but two bags. I wasn't necessarily functioning those days. All the time I had was either spent crying or obsessively staring at my ex-boyfriend's photos, who was in Belgium by then for his studies.

I remember sitting here during orientation. The only thing I could like about being here was the conservatory (which I wasn't officially a part of), but I could still see myself practicing every day, as hard as I can. And I did. I learned to create a world for myself, to be individualistic and much more introverted. Everything was either too good or too bad. For the first time in my life, I was hesitating every time someone asked for my name. My perception of me changed as I noticed what other people had in mind.

Now I know this place quite well. I can weigh all the goods and bads. And a health threat that's beyond our control is forcing us to leave for a few months. Education and motivation are the only two things that I value right now. Oberlin is an incredibly motivating environment (sometimes a lonely one, but always motivating). It helped me find my roots in music and start developing an authentic sound. Not sure if this is good or bad.

In the past few months, I found more clues about my next steps. It's risky to go home right now, but I'll still give it a shot. Despite all my pessimism, I don't want (anyone) to leave. Let's all hope to wake up to a virus-free world tomorrow morning. It's crazy how much things can change in such a short time and without our control.