it’s a MAD world

I wake this morning to the sound of Anniemay shouting at her phone;  “have you seen this?” 

Hardly, I think to myself, as I try to wipe the sleep from my eyes before remembering that I’m not supposed to do that.

“Boris says all over-70s will have to stay at home for 4 months.”  

I turn over, eager to begin my enforced quarantine, but there’s more; “ ….. starting in the next couple of weeks.”  I give up and embrace the day.  While I’m still able to.

We go to Waitrose to collect a step-ladder (don’t ask).  It’s chaos - shelves of Tuscan quail eggs, stripped bare.

I’m running out of medication, but because we’ve moved to a new practice, I can’t renew my prescription until I’ve seen a doctor.  And I can’t see a doctor until next month.  

I get a text message this morning to say that all appointments are now cancelled - prescriptions can be renewed online.  Except mine, because I haven’t seen a doctor …..

Dan is working in India for an Irish company.  The terms of his visa require him to leave India and fly around in circles for a bit before re-entering the country.  He had planned (ie booked flights) to come home this week and stay for a month.  This has to be changed and he’s advised to go to Dubai, stay overnight in a Premier Inn and then return to India.  This plan also has to be aborted.

He finally managed to get a flight to Kathmandu yesterday - and on landing, immediately turned round to get back into India before the border closed today.  He made it with 2 hours to spare.  And several hundred pounds lighter in terms of cancelled flights.

In our isolation, we are expected to rely on technology (and human beings) to fetch and carry for us.  Although Milton Keynes is well served by robotic delivery systems, I can’t see the wee things successfully negotiating Newport Pagnell High Street.

For reasons I can’t really fathom, an image of Alfred E. Nueman comes into my mind. Those of a certain age may remember him as the face of MAD magazine.  I find his words of wisdom oddly comforting at this time.