Neither Quentin Blake

nor Roald Dahl ever created a character with a name as bonkers as “Sir Cloudsley Shovel”, and I have a very strong suspicion that JRR Tolkien was inspired by Rochester's own Bishop Gundulph.

It's rather sad that Sir Cloudsley died only a year after this fine building had been erected in Rochester High Street. It is even more sad that it would appear that he survived a shipwreck off the Isles of Scilly only to be murdered on the beach by a local woman who took a shine to his emerald ring.

I spotted this while waiting in the hygienically-dispersed queue outside the egg-window on Sunday.

I have had quite a bonkers day too, though at least I have not been murdered for my jewellery.
The monkeys at the top of the tree, who are all able to work on i-pads from the comfort of their squashy sofas at home, are feeling a bit isolated and seem to have a desire to feel that bit more hands-on. And so they have called several teleconferences, calling upon staff who are actually on annual leave, to dictate instructions to those on the lower branches.

The Drawing Office must have a home-working contingency plan in place by 4pm, despite the fact that we have never been permitted to purchase adequate lap-tops, and it now looks as though Dell (because we are forbidden to buy from any other supplier) will not be able to fulfil our order for at least three weeks.

So a couple of rusty old steam-powered-lap-tops have been found in a coal-bunker and our only member of IT support staff still attending the office (because he is not a parent) has been tasked with setting these machines up for us. Nice work had he been allowed to get on with it in peace, but no, he was constantly interrupted by bored Directors requesting real-time progress reports. Poor lad! He was so frazzled.

By the end of play it seems as though he had managed to set up the machines, but had not had the opportunity to put them in the air-lock where my team might be able to collect them. At least I am familiar with the experience of the upper branches needing endless progress reports on how the grass is growing beneath the tree.

Can't wait to tell them that there isn't enough bandwidth at home to download or upload a drawing. They'll find out.