Lost in the Supermarket

Today was my first grocery-shopping experience since the lockdown.

I feel lucky that I’ve had a weekly fruit and veg box delivered for the last few years, and that I’m still getting these essentials delivered to my door now - although there have been some slight changes to how much I get, and I’m no longer able to swap items, but that’s perfectly understandable and I’m fine with it. I’m just grateful to continue to receive some basic fresh goods each week.

I’ve been in the lucky position of not having to go to any shops for the past week, but this morning I decided to venture out for items such as laundry liquid, olive oil, bread, cereal and oat milk, all of which were running low. 

I’ve seen that supermarkets have, quite rightly, asked people not to order deliveries online unless they are elderly/disabled/unwell; and, in any case, there are no delivery slots for at least 3 weeks. 

I sold my car about 6 months or so ago and I don’t want to use public transport at the moment unless there’s an emergency, so I set off on foot to my nearest ‘big’ supermarket, a branch of Asda. It’s a 30 minute walk away and when I arrived the queue to get in was halfway around the outside of the building. However, people maintained a safe distance and it didn’t take as long as I’d feared to get to the front of the queue. People were being let inside in batches of 10 and I only saw one person attempt to queue-jump. A security person had ‘a polite word’ and no harm was done. I asked the security guy (who was wearing a mask and gloves and was in regular contact with colleagues by walking-talkie) whether people were generally behaving well and he said they were. People who have to be physically removed are only banned for the rest of the day and can come back the following day if they behave themselves.

So far, so good. But once I got inside I panicked quite badly. I’m not very familiar with the shop and it took me longer to find everything than I’d hoped - although I did get everything I wanted except hand gel (neither loo roll nor pasta were on my list but I noticed that some of both were available - so it looks as though the limit of ‘no more than 3 of any item’ policy is working) - however, it was absolutely impossible to maintain a safe distance from other shoppers or from the staff who were trying to keep the shelves stocked. I tried my best, of course, but the proximity freaked me out a bit.

I also got panicky about touching the goods and then touching the touch-screen checkout, but I managed to walk home without touching my face (I think!) and then washed my hands (and face) very thoroughly, wiped down my door keys, door handles, the handles of kitchen cabinets and the fridge etc and then had a shower! I can feel myself becoming more paranoid and anxious as this situation continues but I hope I won’t have to go to a supermarket again for several weeks and will try to stick to going to smaller local newsagents/corner shops no more than once a week until then!

I realise that my fears pale into insignificance compared to the daily courage of everyone who is working so hard to keep us fed and to support those who are ill or unable to fend for themselves. I feel a little ashamed of myself for being so panicky, but I suspect I’m not alone in having these moments of wobbliness, so I thought I should ‘fess up!

I also confess that I’ve been annoyed to see and hear that the family next door have had visitors round this afternoon/tonight, and that adults and children have been crammed into their heated, inflatable paddling pool. Whilst I absolutely understand the temptation to meet up with friends and have a bit of a blow-out at times of stress, it’s very clearly breaking the rules that we’ve been asked to follow for the sake of ourselves and others, and it upsets me that not only are the adults engaging in risky behaviour, they’re also modelling risky behaviour for their children. Bah! Humbug. 

In an attempt to distract myself from my anxiety and from the carousing next door, I went to my ‘happy place’ - taking some photos whilst listening to podcasts, and it helped! 

I hope you and your loved ones are continuing to keep as safe and well as possible. I’ve seen that some of you suspect you may have succumbed to the virus and, if you’re in that category, then I’m sending love and strength your way and hoping that your recovery will be as speedy as possible. 

Here are The Clash with ‘Lost in the Supermarket’... www.youtube.com/watch?v=68dk01GkxDI