Going viral....

Genghis was confused. He wasn’t used to Marta being indoors with him, constantly talking and fussing around. She kept rubbing his ears and saying weird things like ‘don’t worry, you can’t catch it.’  Well of course that worried him – catch what exactly? Was she trying to infer that he was no longer capable of stalking the neighbourhood squirrels and rats?

 Occasionally, he felt that his hunting skills were unappreciated. The number of times he’d brought back a mouse or a frog as a present, only to have it put in a wee box, and sent on holiday! How rude was that? He lay on his back, purring, as he remembered his favourite adversary (not the mangy thing someone at a party had once had on their head – apparently that was dead already!)  It was surely the crow he’d dragged through the catflap, as a bit of decoration for Marta’s bedroom. It had hopped around in a very satisfactory fashion, screeching at the top of its croaky voice, and trying to peck him. But then, just as the game was hotting up and the crow was starting to jump up and down on Marta’s pillows, she’d arrived home and spoiled the fun. Honestly, what kind of person wouldn’t want a spitting mad crow to play with? What was wrong with humans (apart from the obvious – no fur, and only two legs)?

 Well if Marta was going to go around saying he couldn’t catch anything, besmirching his reputation, he’d damned well show her.  He decided to draw up a list of potential victims……one a day, until Marta stopped hanging around the house (with a face like a wet ferret) and started admitting that he was a supreme hunter/gatherer.  

First on his inventory…. next door’s pet. Getting it out of the crunchy bit might be a challenge, but imagine the fun one could have with a naked tortoise…….