Queen

(music plays)
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide, No escape from reality.

Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see…..

(Loud knock on car window)

(Woman in early fifties, reclining asleep in car, is startled and awakes): Oh! Oh, hello Officer, you caught me there, I’d just nodded off after parking up.
Officer Pugh (for it is he): So I see, ma’am. Is everything OK?
Woman (slightly flustered): Yes, yes, I’ve only a mile to go down the road and then I’m home. 
Officer Pugh: And where’s home, may I ask?
Woman: Well, I’m actually from Edinburgh, but we have a house here as well, you see.
Officer Pugh (narrowing eyes): I see. And would you call this an essential journey? I do take it you’re aware of the First Minister’s advice to Stay Home? (#stayhome #savelives #savetheNHS). 
Woman (becoming slightly shifty): Ah, yes, but I thought I really needed to, eh, check that everything was OK. Rather essential, in fact.
Officer Pugh: Please step out the car ma’am. Can I see your licence? (Checks licence).. …Catherine Calderwood. Aren’t you Scotland’s Chief Medical Officer? I thought I recognised you! I’m a big fan! How’s about a selfie together then you can get on your way? (Takes photo). On your way now, say hello to Nicola! 
Calderwood (driving off in a cloud of stoor, waving from open window): Byeee!  
Officer Pugh (takes out phone, looks up and dials number): Hello is that the Sun newspaper? 

A salutary tale!