How many bananas can you get in your mouth at once

The over-delivery of bananas appears to have been an ongoing problem for Canadian households. This is due to confusion about how to count them. I have always been a proponent of the one banana is represented by the number “1” argument. Greengrocery stores, however, seem to have adopted a slightly different numbering system. And this has caused confusion across the country. For in Canadian greengrocers, where bananas are concerned, “1” banana might mean “one banana”, “one bunch of bananas”, “one pound of bananas” or, for all I know, “one tonne of bananas”. It’s all a bit of a mess, and I am sorry there is not an official banana numbering measure in existence. Perhaps the EU could develop one and put us all out of our misery.

We have, on recent orders, been shocked at the price of bananas and simultaneously overrun by the sheer number of them in our deliveries,
 
Did you know, say I, that a single banana is called a “finger”, while the proper name for a bunch of bananas is a “hand”? You probably did – but I didn’t. I also didn’t know that they grow from a “banana heart”. The more I think of it, the more I wonder whether bananas are at all suitable for vegans: if I ever become one (or get to know one), I’ll have to have that conversation.
 
Anyway, Ottawacker Jr. has decided that given the current existence of a banana glut in our home (“banana mountain?”, “banana groin?”, “bananarama?”) he is going to have to help us out as quickly as possible before Mrs. Ottawacker takes the drastic step of making a banana bread. Not that I have anything against Mrs. Ottawacker’s Banana Bread, it’s just that most of it goes directly to my stomach and there is already stiff competition from Vimy’s Stout and Spanish red wine. Quite frankly, they are calories I can do without.
 
So Ottawacker Jr. is taking one for the team. When he is old enough to get an allowance (and is able to go out to spend it), I’ll have to increase it.