Dear Mummy.

Dear Mummy.

I found out today, while feeding a horse that you are poorly with Covid 19. My brother told my son who told me. I started to feel a bit sad. I didn't want this virus to make anyone I knew a statistic. But then I realised that I didn't actually know you. And you don't know me. You chose not to know me anymore a long time ago. A lot has happened to me since then. I often wonder if you ever regret that.

Then I was told that you actually wanted to get the virus as you have been very unhappy, especially since your stroke 5 years ago and that you don't like being in a residential home. You were always a very difficult one to please.  

Even though I don't have any happy memories of you,  one thing I did learn was how not to parent my own children. I love them with all of my heart. I strive to make sure they have happy,  loving memories.  We are struggling not seeing each other.  So thankyou for that.

I always thought you would die a sad and lonely old lady. And Covid 19 makes sure of that. I'm not sad that you might die as I know that's what you want. I'm sad that you will be alone. Or that you will make it difficult for the nurses on Red Ward at Plymouth Hospital. Please try and be kind to them.  

What ever the out come, I hope you find peace. This world wasnt really for you. You tried your hardest to leave it. But it wasn't your time. They weren't ready for you. Perhaps they are now.