I shit you; I shit you not.

Number three (sadly not number two - eh? eh?) of my splendid triumvirate of games to be enjoyed when it's pissing down outside (and on current form that appears to be for the rest of eternity) is the frankly remarkable "Plop Trumps".

I have no idea who coalesced the various faecal ideas and memes to come up with this but he (and I strongly suspect it can only have been a "he") deserves a hat-tip for sure.

The premise is the same as any Top Trump game but with added 6-10 year-old-boy factor. I truthfully cannot see anything unattractive as this - prosaic it ain't!

Anyway. They are available through this link. Have fun.

The cards on display are significant;

Fox shit - The 10/10 scores for awfulness are bang-on. Anyone who has ever owned a Labrador, Terrier or Spaniel will vouch for this. Said goggehs seem to find it akin to Chanel No.5 and are always desperate to tell you so by transferring some of it to you.

Cricket shit (hidden) - It's an insect so it shits. But who really thought?

Hamster shit parcels - the Fred.

Cow shit - Wholesome, fresh, redolent of the countryside and calming. Trust me.

Chicken shit - describes the day I had today and some people soon to be out of my hair.