Mono Monday: Bar

A theme of 'Bar' from laurie54 for this week's Mono Monday; and whilst (if bars were open) I would be more likely to order a beer than one of these, I still rather like the glass.  For the record, being a Monday afternoon, no Martinis were consumed in the making of this blip.  I did eat the olive though.

A man walked into a bar and was immediately knocked out.  It was an iron bar.


Two scientists walk into a bar and the first one orders an H2O.  The second one said "l'll have an H2O too".  He drank it and died.


A hippopotamus walked into a bar and ordered a Martini.  The barman said "We don't get many hippopotamuses in here drinking Martinis".  The hippopotamus said "At these prices, I'm not surprised".


Three fonts walk into a bar.  The barman shouts "Get out - we don't serve your type in here!"


A man walks into a bar and notices two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling and asks the barman what they are for.  Well, says the barman, if you can jump up and slap them both in one go you get free drinks all night, but if you miss one, you have to buy everyone else's drinks.  Do you want a go?  The man thought for a moment and said "No thanks, the steaks are too high".


A German walks into a bar and asks for a Martini.  "Dry?", asks the barman.  Nein, says the German, just one.


The barman says "We don't serve time travellers in here".  A time traveller walks into a bar.


Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a Martini.  The barman asks "Olive or Twist?"