Choices

I set off on a run earlier & I wasn’t that sure about where I was heading. I had one route in mind but 2 miles in, everything was feeling great so I decided to head half way up Walla & along to a nice downhill segment, known on strava as the “great wood rollercoaster” & back along the lakeshore, home.

When I set off, my mind was awash with confused thoughts & worries but there is nothing like a good run for restoring order & reason.

On a water stop, this sign got me thinking about choices that lay ahead. They are choices indeed & it’s entirely up to me to decide how I respond to & move on from certain events of the last few weeks.

Following the abrupt end to something that I had pinned a lot of hopeful optimism to yesterday, I have continued to be angry- incensed even, at the careless handling of it all- from start to finish.

As my best friend said to me last night, this will definitely smart for a while & I may spend a bit of time licking my wounds.

Thus, it is true of today. This has largely been that day.

There is however, a positive spin to consider & I suppose now, I can choose whether it would be helpful for me to recognise it.

In my conversation with my best friend, she presented me with the idea that I had not been stupid but I had been brave in allowing myself to care about somebody again.

I will of course, endeavour to choose the latter way of thinking & now I’ll re-focus & reset so that I can keep moving forward. A few months ago, I was in the best place I’ve been in since the devastatingly painful end to my marriage & I will arrive back there soon. I have to. This part isn’t a choice; it’s a necessity.

Tomorrow is another day (so the old maxim states) & I have an A level ‘google meet’ to prepare for where we will be discussing Act 1 of Hamlet.

The discussion question has been set, so we’ll see what happens...

...should Hamlet have just done some gardening instead of crying about the weeds?...

(The above is a joke: My students are being delivered a high quality education, really!)