New perspectives

“I want to say that my mother’s true self remains intact, there at the surface of her being, like a feather resting on the surface tension of a glass of water, in the way she listens, nods, rests her hand on her cheek, when we are together.
But suggesting she should be given the benefit of the doubt is a hard story to sustain in the face of powerful stories that have already decided what she will inevitably become.”

- Dementia, Living in the Memories of God. (John Swinton).

Have been enjoying getting into the flow of studying again. At a pace that allows me to learn for the sake of growing, rather than that process being driven by exam pressure.
I’ve been listening to the online “Ageing in Health” lectures, our first 4th year attachment. What’s been really eye-opening is to look at how we’re taught to see elderly patients, especially those with dementia, alongside reading this book by John Swinton. Realising that the nature of medical training means that we are schooled to see some things, and by implication, not others. What have I been schooled not to see?

As Oliver Sacks writes in “The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat”:
“Neurology’s favourite word is “deficit”...loss of language, loss of memory, loss of dexterity, loss of identity and myriad other lacks and losses of specific functions or faculties.”

I understand that in this context, where the purpose and desire is to bring help and healing, we need to acknowledge what is broken and recognise the pain.
But if we only focus on what has been lost, won’t we also risk losing sight of that which remains?

Gratefuls:
- So much green space, in the middle of this city
- The nighttime skyline views from Primrose hill, clearer skies, sitting with these wonderful girls I’m living with
- Spontaneously bursting into a medley of songs from Singstar 2008 with Sophie in the kitchen. Brought back good memories.
- Sophie praying to find palettes to make a mini garden...only to find 3 white wooden crates this evening on our walk home, that were no longer being used by a local florist! What an answer to prayer! Our God cares about the little and the big things.
- Listening to a sermon on Philippians, one of the best I’ve heard in a long time. Changing the way I see the world and the people whose paths cross mine.
- Catching up with friends from across the world. I have a long way to go in my relationship with technology and keeping touch in this way, but I’m thankful for it.
- A video call with Paul before bed, time goes too quickly.