What we are worth

I’ve struggled for a while with my worth.
The only place I’ve found any lasting rest from this struggle, is in God. The One who made me and knows me, who is greater than me and outside of me, whose thoughts are always true even when I forget or doubt them.

I’ve been wrestling with it again today, and wondered how other people who feel this way manage without Him.
So I decided to Google it earlier: where does our worth come from?

Out of every search result that came up on the first page, none actually mentioned just the word “worth”. But instead, “self-worth”. That’s the only solution, the only place we can find worth. By mustering it up, in and of ourselves.

The first site that came up, told me 13 places where it doesn’t come from. Then eventually came their answer:
“Your worth is entirely up to you. You are worthy because you say you’re worthy and because you believe it.”

Really? Well what about if I’m really struggling to believe it? Does that mean I’m worth less? That doesn’t bring much hope for the depressed, the broken, the rejected.

It reminded me of something I learned last year, when I lived with my Grandma. One of her favourite TV programmes to watch was Antiques Roadshow. So I accidentally became an avid fan. But it taught me a valuable truth: how much something is worth, is determined by how much someone is willing to pay for it. And so when we wonder how much we are worth, we only have to look at how much God was willing to pay for us.

“But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.” (Romans 5:8 MSG).

Gratefuls:
- A God who speaks, encourages, reassures and loves us.
- A God who hears our prayers, and answers.
- A God who can use even our pain to work out His purposes in and for us.
- A God who is relational, and who engages in conversation with us.
- A God who cares more deeply about us than surface-level. Who is committed for the long haul. We couldn’t change His mind if we tried.
- A God who came not to condemn us but to save us. Who is so patient with us. Who loves us even in our mess and imperfection.
- 2 wonderful FaceTimes. One with Emma - my bunkmate in Indonesia, who holds a very special place in my heart. Was so good to spend time sharing and praying together, bringing back memories from DTS.
- The other with Paul - thankful for someone who loves God so much, and invites Him into every conversation. Conversations are always better with Jesus at the centre.