Allo! Who is eet?

ARTHUR:
It is King Arthur, and these are my Knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this?

FRENCH GUARD:
This is the castle of my master, Guy de Loimbard.

ARTHUR:
Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.

FRENCH GUARD:
Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. Uh, he's already got one, you see.

ARTHUR:
What?

GALAHAD:
He says they've already got one!

ARTHUR:
Are you sure he's got one?

FRENCH GUARD:
Oh, yes. It's very nice-a. (I told him we already got one.)

FRENCH GUARDS:
[chuckling]

ARTHUR:
Well, u-- um, can we come up and have a look?

FRENCH GUARD:
Of course not! You are English types-a!

ARTHUR:
Well, what are you, then?

FRENCH GUARD:
I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king-a?!

GALAHAD:
What are you doing in England?

FRENCH GUARD:
Mind your own business!

ARTHUR:
If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!

FRENCH GUARD:
You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt!

GALAHAD:
What a strange person.

ARTHUR:
Now look here, my good man--

FRENCH GUARD:
I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

GALAHAD:
Is there someone else up there we could talk to?

FRENCH GUARD:
No. Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-a!
[sniff]

ARTHUR:
Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable.

FRENCH GUARD:
(Fetchez la vache.)

OTHER FRENCH GUARD:
Quoi?

FRENCH GUARD:
(Fetchez la vache!)
[mooo]

I could have gone on, but I thought I'd spare you all.

since it was Historic Scotlad open day today we headed out into the middle of the country with some friends. First we went to the now legendary Doune Castle. This was one of the locations used on the film "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" (I'm sure you guessed from the intro.

Quite a spectacular castle really. It doesn't look like there is really that much to it from the outside, but the internal structures are pretty complex.

I bumped into an old friend while we were there who's in-lws were over from australia to see their 4 week old Grandchild, so he and his wife took them to see Doune en-route to Fort William.

After the castle we headed down th eroad to the Lake of Montieth, Scotland's only lake (the rest are lochs), which is the site of Inchmahome Priory. this involved a 10 minute boat trip out to th eisland the Priory is situated on. chloe, who we had brought back out to Queensferry with us after last nights dinner, had never been on a boat before so was quite pleased with the trip.

all in all it was a good day and something we should do more since my work has a Historic scotland corporate membership.