Despair

This photo shows what today felt like for me.  I wasn't able to visit with the twins after all, because I've been running a temperature and had a headache for days and we decided it was safest to skip a week.  Of course today I felt fine.  But worse was the deep depression that I've sunk into with the news of the storm troopers.  I've managed to maintain my sense of hope that things will get better up till now, but for me that's the final straw to push me into despair.  I didn't go out today, I didn't even go out my door.  I can't think, can't move, can't do anything - I'm just overwhelmed with hopelessness.  I don't know how long this will last.