Monday

Psychotherapy in the morning, last one online. 

Walked along to the chemist to get my meds then to a few shops to get gifts for S's birthday. Walked back along the walkway and passed the allotments. 

Such a horrible telephone Psychiatrist appt this afternoon. I reeled off all the symptoms I was getting , told her about suicidal thoughts, phoning the hospital, self harm fantasies and all she said was 'that's a shame'. 
I've to keep reducing and she'll see me in 2months. 
I don't feel she cares and I'm on my own in this. Makes me want to carry out these thoughts and fantasies. Life sucks.