end of an era

A friend once said to me that when she saw the Montbretia blooming in her garden, the end of the summer holidays was fast approaching. As you can see, it's looking lovely, and right enough, today was Back To School day in Scotland. 

Tomorrow will be my first day back - not at school, but at work, after 5 months of furlough. In many ways, this time has felt like a long summer holiday..the weather has been great for most of the time, and our garden has benefitted from the extra attention. Apart from a brief trip to Edinburgh to Move Luke into his new flat, we haven't been anywhere outside Dumfries and Galloway, and for the first 4 months, we only went out once a week, to the shops.

I had written in my diary that 2020 would be the year when "less is more". Having been inspired by a great article called "Go Deeper, Not Wider",  I had planned this year as a time to stand back and re evaluate things. Little did I know just how that would play out. You want less? How about less freedom to travel, less seeing friends and family, less work, less food in the shops, less choir/drumming/church/summer galas/sitting in a cafe with a friend/swimming/train rides/shopping for fun/exploration/going out just for the hell of it?

But then it turned out that less WAS more. I was fortunate to be paid all through lockdown. I live in the country so I was able to walk and spend time in the garden. The roads were quiet so cycling became so much nicer. On the rare occasions when I met another person, our conversation seemed so precious. I was worried about my parents and phoned them every day, and that contact has continued. They learned (very slowly and my brother has the patience of a saint) how to FaceTime. Our weekly "meetings" are very special. Although I missed my social activities, It was actually nice not to have to rush around here there and everywhere. It was lovely not to worry too much about cleaning the house because we knew that noone would see it. It was a worrying time in many ways, but it was very peaceful. There was time to try new things - I joined Spotify and listened to new music and podcasts. I learned to make kombucha and I finished the Duolingo Gaelic course. I watched nearly every episode of "This is US" which helped me to get through the days. (That is a LOT of episodes but a lot of life lessons). I spent more time with my husband :-)

At the same time, I felt very guilty that other people were working all this time, sometimes at risk to their own health. I felt profoundly grateful to the postie and delivery men who came to our door most days, to the supermarket staff I met each week, to the men who took away our bins from the end of the drive. Although I didn't see any teachers or NHS staff or careers, I knew that they were all out there, doing their jobs day in, day out.

And then there were our children. I felt the deepest respect for Sarah, working on the Covid ICU, and great fear for her safety. It was hard not to be able to see her, but we spoke on the phone most days. Unexpectedly and in different ways, I had the opportunity to become closer to both my sons. This is something which might never have happened in different circumstances and for which I am so thankful.

We are still in lockdown, of course, still distancing and wearing masks and finding out what the new normal means. But it's time for the summer holidays to end, for me to go "back to the marketplace with helping hands".
I'm ready!