Slippery Customers....

There's nothing I enjoy more, just as we're closing the pharmacy, than a maniac bursting through the door claiming they'll 'be quick'. (I'd better be careful. Apparently sarcasm is bad for your heart. Though if that was true, I'd have shuffled off in my teens...)

Anyway, she came in, clutching about ten manky carrier bags, asking if we had a giant tin of Vaseline 'for one of my bits'. (!!!) You know me....normally I wouldn't have been able to resist enquiring, but it was 6pm and I'd already had an entire day of nutjobs. I told her we only had small tins, and she asked how much they were.

'£1.25,' I said.

'But much will you take for it?'

'£1.25!'

'I'll give you a pound and not a penny more.'

'This isn't the Antiques Road Trip madam. It's non negotiable!'

'I'll give you one pound. One pound. A pound. God, Boots used to be such a good shop.'

'This isn't Boots.'

'Can I still use my Boots loyalty card?'

'No. This isn't Boots.'

'I must say, you're most unhelpful. How about we agree on a pound and you swipe my card just in case it works?'

'It won't.'

'Well swipe it anyway, just in case.'

She then proceeded to tip the entire contents of her capacious handbag onto the counter in search of her Boots card, and there, amongst the many (many) strange things lurking within, were four open jars of Vaseline (!)....and a camembert. An entire, unwrapped camembert. In her handbag.


Sometimes, I wonder if I'm hallucinating. Or accidentally inhaling tablet dust...