You're so vain

As I meandered along the river (dog in tow) the ducks all scarpered off the bank and into the water (they have no idea that Logan is a retriever in name only) and this arrogant swan glided over and stopped in front of me, turning his head from left to right and back again like a true professional, he didn't even flinch when Logan got jealous and barked (I know, the dog never barks) at him. This vain male merely spread his wings slightly so that Logan would understand (!) the size of the beast he was challenging.
It'll be a different matter later on in the year when he has cygnets and a wifey to protect (we passed she who must be obeyed further along the bank, she blanked us totally).