Shall i jump?

Shall i jump?

You can't really see it but there's a 10ft drop in front of me.

Having a shitty couple of days. I saw an osteopath last week and was so full of hope as she seemed confident she knew what the problem was that was causing my elbow pain - hypermobile limbs but no mobility in my back. The exercises she did have given me a week of severe pain which i thought was progress of sorts as it had shifted from where it was.

Apparently not. What is happening is that she is managing to release parts of my back temporarily but its then clamping back down hard to support my hypermobile limbs. The best she could do is continue this but at the cost of more pain to me.

Gutted is not the word.

Niall tells me that we are now further forward as we know why i am getting elbow pain and what is causing it but it doesn't feel like it. Having hope about something sucks. It just makes the fall all the harder.

Osteopath has recommended specific types of pilates to help me (ie folk with proper knowledge of musculo-skeletal problems rather than "fitness" pilates) but it is proving hard to find someone nearby. Still, keep searching i guess.

Also i am having a "where do i fit in?" flap. I enjoy my current job, i really do but it doesn't pay brilliantly and the long hours are not good for my young family. Thing is, there's nothing else right now. And it frustrates me that i cannot contribute effectively financially. My wage is just about keeping us afloat but, only just. Perhaps I should never have left my previous profession. A full time wage there would make us very comfortable. But no jobs in Aberdeenshire in that and it wasn't me anyway really.

Gah. Not a good time. Can someone come and re-chain the black dog please?