HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HARRY! PINKTOBER 25

Mr. HCB’s father, Alfred Henry, known as Harry, was a “gentle” man and a “gentleman”.  He was born in Swindon in 1906 but I’m not sure where he met Joan or Phyllis Evelyn Joan, to give her her full name, but they married in 1935 at the Methodist Central Hall and their first son, Derek, was born in 1936.  

Mr. HCB was born in 1942 and soon after, Harry, who had joined the Army, had to leave his wife and two sons and eventually ended worked as a Cook in India during the Second World War.  Mr. HCB tells the story that because his Daddy hadn’t been around for some years, when he came home at the end of the war, he was frightened when he saw this strange man, so ran and hid under the dining room table and was only coaxed out when offered sweets.  

Harry was a family man who liked nothing better than to be with his wife, his two sons and their families - in fact, one of the last photographs we have of him I took at his 70th birthday party, surrounded by his five grandchildren.  Harry also liked to go out with his little Instamatic camera to local places of interest to take photographs - he usually walked because he didn’t have a car - and it’s thanks to him that we have photographs of places in Swindon that have since been demolished such as the Methodist Central Hall, where they were married, the old Swindon Railway Station, the Banana House in Queens Park and many other places of interest.  

Harry was very fond of his garden, greenhouse and allotment - so that’s obviously where Mr. HCB gets it from - and loved to potter;  once he retired, he would be out all day, in the garden or allotment if it was fine, but in the greenhouse if it was raining.  He loved growing tomatoes in his greenhouse, but his real love was growing flowers for his wife, Joan to cut and enjoy indoors.  He grew the most amazing chrysanthemums, one of the reasons I have cut some pink ones today and put beside this photograph.  He would have been so proud of Mr. HCB but I have no doubt that he would be telling him what he could have done to get bigger blooms!

After Harry had a bad bout of flu when he was 65, it left him with a weak heart, but he still loved to get out in the garden and do what he could, even though he could no longer do the heavy work out there.  In fact, just before he died suddenly in 1977, whilst he and Joan were on holiday with friends in North Wales, he had propagated a yellow carnation and was eager to get back from holiday to see if it had opened.  

However, he never got to see it, but as the carnation had opened while they were away, Joan wanted to put into his coffin for his funeral service.  I know the carnation I have put in this shot isn’t yellow, but pink - which actually fits in better with Breast Cancer Awareness Month - but again, he would be very proud of Mr. HCB and the fact that he has grown the beautiful carnations we have enjoyed all summer long in our garden.

Harry was a patient man, always ready to help and offer advice, but never pushy - he was a builder by trade and just the week before he died, he had been up on a very tall ladder, pointing the chimney on our house - we watched him with trepidation, but there was no stopping him, if he had made up his mind he was going to do something.  I got on with him very well and loved his dry sense of humour - so we would often laugh together and I have to admit that I learned a lot about gardening from him by just “shadowing” him and chatting to him when he was working in the garden or greenhouse.

I remember on one occasion that Mr. HCB was getting very frustrated because he was trying to plaster a wall in our kitchen and the plaster just wouldn’t stick.  Because his parents lived just up the road, I remember going to their house and asking if his Dad would come and help and of course, he came straightaway.  It was amazing to watch him, flicking the plaster on to the wall and telling Mr. HCB that he needed to keep the wall wet or it would never stick - then handing over the trowel to let Mr. HCB finish it off.  Harry could have finished it quickly himself, but he wanted Mr. HCB to learn how to do while he watched.

Mr. HCB says he often hears his Dad’s voice in his head if he is doing something in the garden or the house, especially if he isn’t doing it the way Harry would have done it, such was his influence!

A much-loved father and grandfather, who is sadly missed and affectionately remembered especially on his birthday.  He was a wonderful role model for his sons and grandchildren and would have loved all his great-grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren, although I’m not quite sure what he would have made of the toys and games in this technological age!

I made this collage of the men on Mr. HCB's side of the family - Harry, in his army uniform at the top left - then from the top right, clockwise, Mr. HCB, our older son, Martyn, his son, Joshua, our younger son, Jules and his son, Harry.  

Please remember to click on this link so that those who cannot afford to pay can have a free mammogram.  Thank you.

“I believe that what we become 
     depends on what our fathers 
          teach us at odd moments, 
               when they aren't trying to teach us. 
We are formed 
     by little scraps of wisdom.” 
Umberto Eco : Foucault's Pendulum