Tree

I got you a great part in this picture. You play "Tree".
Yeah, I know it's not the star part but you don't need that. It's more a, what do you call it? Cameo! Yeah, it's a cameo. But you can make a real impact with this - I mean, Brando only had a cameo in Apocalypse but whodja remember from that? Brando! Thats who.
Also, and I gotta be honest with you, the offers ain't comin' so good lately - it's not like I'm turning them away if you know what I'm saying. The good old days - Forest Gump, Ed Wood, Kindergarten Copse - those days are over. There are a whole load of cute saplings that're taking all the good parts.
And, look, you will be on the screen for the whole thing. And this is the clincher - it's a title role!
So, whaddya say?