Barbara

Today we received the call which had been dreading, but somehow expecting, from Barbara's daughter Elspeth to say that Barbara had passed away in hospital at 3am.  

We've been neighbours since we moved next door 15 years ago, so she was a sprightly 85 when we first met and got to know her and her husband Bob. Unfortunately he died the following year.   I really started visiting her on a regular weekly basis after she came out of hospital after a fall in April 2019.  

We had many a great chat and chuckles during the visits where I learned the stories of the pictures on her walls, the ornaments, the farm, when she came to the OC and many, many more.  I learned how she missed all the folks in her address book one night as she flicked through it, the many who were no longer around, that was sad to see her obviously remembering the ones long gone, including her brother and sister.  She had a great determination and grit which kept her going in the times of her frustrations over her lack of mobility.  Not being able to get out in the garden when she used to spend so much time in it, that was hard for her. Her garden was her pride and joy and has been the subject of many a blip, especially in Springtime when the tulips were a riot of colour.  Her manners were impeccable, and when I would leave the house, she would always say, 'give my regards to your husband', or, 'thanks for coming over to speak to me' and 'come again' with that lovely little smile and a twinkle in her eye.  

Her 100th birthday party at the end of June was one of the few highlights of this year.  The big day - https://www.blipfoto.com/entry/2725034227081940745
She was so proud of her card from the Queen, it was still up many weeks after the actual birthday.  She would say to me, gesturing to the card on top of the mantelpiece, 'when do you think I should take it down'?  Isn't Queenie looking so well?  I would say each time 'Barbara just keep it there, it's a mark or reaching a great age' !  So she did.  We all got together in her front garden and she had pride of place sitting at her front step receiving her pressies and visitors.  I was so pleased for her as she was beaming.

We've picked her off her floor three times after falling and I always was amazed how she rebounded back.  One time after us rushing over after her calling us from a fall just outside the bathroom floor where the phone was we picked her up and then the carer arrived and she had to be persuaded that we would take care of her and not to call an ambulance as we could see she was just needing some bed rest and warm up in bed to recover.  There were the many calls to us to reassure her there was nothing in the attic as she was deaf and I think the hearing aids were picking up the boiler noise and she was convinced something was there.  It's worrying for old folks living on their own if they hear noises....  

I'm going to miss this lovely lady so much, I mean she has given me the fear often when I would see her step down from her kitchen step to hang out a dishcloth or her trousers on the wee makeshift clothes line next to her back door as she wobbled but the mindset of thinking I can do this is to be admired.  

But as well as the sadness of her passing I also feel really torn that the visits to her weren't happening in October after the advice not to visit others in their homes.  We had a couple of chats outwith the house but my heart is a bit strangled that I didn't just do it given that she is no longer here.  I just feel so sad and guilty too that I couldn’t give her what a housebound person really wants, the gift of your time spent chatting to them.  I know she was 100 and a good life (apart from the last three weeks when she has been in hospital twice) but she did look ahead and never once ever said 'when I'm not here' or words to that effect.  

Elspeth has asked my husband if he would take a cord on the coffin if we are allowed, not sure when this will be as Barbara tested positive on Sunday for Coronavirus in hospital and Helen and Elspeth now have to self isolate for two weeks indoors.....



RIP Barbara, going to miss you so very much my lovely neighbour and friend.  They don't make them like you any more.

(From the 'Lovely Couple Next Door')  what she always called us LOL!
I always liked this picture it was one evening in the summer and I was leaving after a visit and we were chatting about her garden.  I think she spotted a weed and i had to pull it out....  Then  I said let me take your pic and Barbara said 'oh no my hair is a mess'  !  I said you look great and then took it!