Her Majesty

Series 7 of The Crown, the year is 2020.

Her Majesty has been persuaded to move into the 21st century. She can now control her gas lamp lighting - and as an afterthought, her heating - from the Hive App on her smart phone.

She is not superstitious, but Friday 13th the heating stopped working. Again. She attempted to telephone British Gas, but no chance. She would have to book an appointment online. She tried that - the earliest appointment would be in a weeks time. What is the point of “by appointment” if you have to wait a week.

Annoyed, she attempted the chat function. And that proved successful. She explained her circumstances - sovereign, getting on a bit - and an appointment was made for today,

The usual routine to start. “Do you want me to wear a face mask”. “Yes please”. It shouldn’t even be a question.

After the engineer departed, relieved she sat in her comfy chair and enjoyed her Sussex Pond Pudding, which Mr Johnston ( who also appears in “Bake Off” this year) had brought her, courtesy of Dame Pru Leith.

To cap the day all she needs now is a good evening watching Strictly. She has always been a fan of Bill Bailey (she really ought to give him a knighthood). And she is a real fan of hip hop. A winning combination.