Laughing out loud...

...At my own ineptitude.

One leg done, one to go.
I bought these (very useful) waterproof trousers ages ago. But is a bargain really a bargain if it doesn’t fit? (It’s not). The length of the legs, I thought, wouldn’t be a problem. (It was). I thought I’d turn them up. (I couldn’t). There are vertical zips at the ankle. (Why?). I thought it would be ok. I could still (innovatively) hoik them up, with black elastic garters at the thigh, so I bought a large amount of very wide elastic. I didn’t need much, but clearly the manufacturers of wide elastic are under the impression that purchasers will never require anything less than a furlong. (The garters sadly suffered annoying slippage towards the knee direction after approximately two strides from the front gate, making what could have been a pleasant walk quite irritating. Not to mention the black elastic hula hoop trip hazards which soon adorned my ankles, along with concertinas of muddy waterproof material).
The only solution was to resort to a needle and thread and create a seam at thigh level. (Waterproof trousers which are lined with lovely snug fluff for winter wear, as it turns out, are very thick indeed to coax a needle through).
Like Winnie The Pooh (stuck in a hole) going back seems just as unpleasant as continuing this task. What can you do Gladys?

P.S. they are quite a bit too large in the waist too.