Pets are family!

The last couple of months have been really hard for us. My collie dog Lady has been with me longer than my eldest son who is 12. Lady is 13 in september. Sh had a large lump on her tummy. a few year ago vets said it was okay, she had her pups and we kept one named her lexi. He lump last year in 2011 was so huge we took her back and was told nothing could be done. December 2012 we took her to our local vets who agreed that the lump had to be removed it was about the size of a toddlers head. We choose to have it taken off. this christmsa day was amazing as lady was still with us and not only that she was back to the lady we had all known and loved. lady who loved to run around in the snow. jump up. come to be petted and most of all she looked young again. Only this didnt last. Last week we noticed her struggling to walk again, in the same area she had her last lump removed she had another one. also her nipples were really sore and bleeding. although the scare had gone and healed. Last thursday we took her to the vets and came home with antibiotics and some lotion, hoping so much that it would help her. she tried to climb the stairs to come to bed with us as usual but fell down the stairs, at the moment my heart broke and i knew she had given up.

Today she is no better, her nipples are clearing up, we have found 20 or more small lumps around her tummy, and a large one about tangerine size, today she looks dreadful she is eating okay and is fine in herself, she wags her tail and seems to be the lady we know and love inside. hearing fine and everything, the only thing draining her of her life is these lumps! As andrew went to bathe her tummy tonight he noticed the size of her legs, her legs are swollen so swollen that they are HUGE, that is why she cant get up, she never moves from her bed, she just lies there, her paws are huge and hot. I didnt think the love for my dog was as huge as it was. i broke down, uncontrollably, i sat with her knowing that the kindest thing in the world is to let her go begging her to close her eyes and not wake up telling her that it is okay. Knowing that sometimes very soon i would have to take her back to the vets for the very last time. A dog has my whole heart in tatters. only a dog just a pet!!! A dog that use to bark when my kids were up to no good, a dog that would carry my children around by nappies when they were in danger, a dog that has never bitten a sole, a dog that each birthday and xmas loves to open her presents. A dog that gave birth to puppies and a dog that has stole my heart in big massive way.

I have already looked up pet crematoriums im not leaving her somewhere else she has never cost us a penny until lately and im going to make sure she has best send off that i can give to her.

My kids are heart broken, i have an ache that wont go away i have tears that keep coming from no where, even when i thought i had no tears left to weep.

Her pup lexi has looked after her for a very long time and she will be totally lost on her own. Lady still tries to be the pup she always has been inside she is mentally showing no signs of being ill apart from the look in her eyes. We were over the moon on xmas day that she was still here with us, that we had the operation and all was well. we never expected the mammory tumours to come back this soon. we never expected to really loose her. but we know that if not tomorrow when we take her to the vets that very very soon it will be time to say goodbye, shredding a million tears right now and i cant put into words how we are all feeling right now. a pet is never just a pet they become part of your family, if you dont have pets then your children become your life and in my life lady is my child. she has given me love everytime i come home from work she is there at the door waiting,. the next few days will be so hard... only time will choose the fate.. i cant talk no more now its too painful i just hope that somehow the vets can either fix her until old age takes her without pain or the time has come to end it all for her but thats not the road i want to go down. not the heartache that i could bear... my kids have been distraught tonight and i know i wont sleep . Cant control the anger and hurt always wish there was someone or something to blame but nature takes us all one way or another.. good night god bless. x x x